The Sitcom Gods | Can These Imaginary Deities Get a High-five For Their Hopelessness?

The sitcom gods are the stupidest group of deities I have unknowingly and involuntarily created in one corner of my imagination. Do daydreamers and people with overactive imaginations experience the same thing? Unknowingly and involuntarily imagine their own chaotic characters based on patterns happening around them on a daily basis?

At first, I thought Happy, my imaginary friend, was a mistake. But after I imagined Happy as an A-list imaginary celebrity who appeared in Plotagon form for my web series and other stuff, my psychosis appearing in the form of Darvin, and how none of the people surrounding me changed their behavior towards me after my mental health clinic staycation, the sitcom gods really had their cake and ate it too since 2017.

Nowadays, their way of criticizing how I go on with a slow episode of a day is their dosomethingisms. Actually, the sitcom gods sell their souls, shaped like credit cards, by swiping a demonic register, and then mope while waiting three to five business minutes for something to happen. They get instantly whiny about those minutes and are like, "Oh My GoD! dO sOmEtHiNg!"

When something happens unexpectedly that I cannot control, and disrupts my routine because I'm THAT type of perfectionist, the sitcom gods literally thank Satan, and for some reason they get their souls back. I guess Satan should've applied his "no refunds" policy to the sitcom gods. The fuck?

I wonder if the sitcom gods would want to see me fuck up my relationships with other men. And based on my lived experience with traumatic (and stupid) people, I guess those dumb imaginary bitches think they're experts with writing my gay romance tales. Not my imaginary viewers and fans though, because at least they like to see or get used to seeing slow episodes.

The question I have for the sitcom gods every day, that I didn't need an answer for at all, is: Should I do something or should I do nothing? And they don't understand that doing nothing counts as doing something. They don't like today's episode? They should just wait until I go somewhere in future episodes, or even holiday episodes.

"Oh My GoD, dO sOmEtHiNg!" Bitch, shut thee fuck up and be patient. Better yet, find a different person's show to see if you're actually a fan. Stop ruining my nights with sprinkled mischief, because I can tell the sitcom gods can't keep their souls intact to save their existence.

The year 2025 is about to be over soon, so let's see what the sitcom gods will cook up for my show throughout December.

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